The Last Two Months.

It has been almost two months that I wrote something here. Life in this two months has been crazy, work work work and work, was what I could think of in the last two months. There has been not a single moment I guess, that I had truly enjoyed during this period. I am just surviving is what I could think of. I was very frustrated with life, did not know what I was doing, everything that I took up at work went wrong, sometimes horriblely wrong, but I guess I was able to survive them. Sometimes I had continuously ten - fifteen work days without a break and that made things even more worse. I was trying hard to improve things, then realised that "trying hard" made things go wrong, as I did not have enough break. Then strongly felt that I should take rest and have some break to make things fall back in place. And one day I managed to get out of office around 6:30 PM, man that was the day I could see a beautiful evening after a long gap and I do not even remember when I last did that (may be for months I did not have opportunity to view a beautiful evening). From then on things slowly improved and these days I do not spend late nights at office. But were the last two months fruitful with respect to results, I do not think so. Only that I was working hard, under pressure, under a lot of stress to make manage things rather without any fruitful results. But to think as an optimist, the last two months have reflected the errors that I have been committing through out the project / work. I have a laid back attitude sometimes, which made things worse, I realised how bad the attitude was and now will work on improving things. As I had always realised from my past experiences, when I take up multiple tasks, one of those tasks goes for a toss and this time around it was no different. If I closely observe the last two months, the project demands were high and at the same time took up a task as part of firm initiative that almost back fired. In addition to this, I was in a more or less managerial role for the most part of that period. That made me realise that I need to be lot more proactive, and lot more learning to be a successfull manager. Thinking optimistic, I think I was thrashed into a new role suddenly managing many things at a demanding in the project. The situation was not new to me but the role was. Earlier I was in similar situations where more was expected out of you, but all those times the tasks were just limited to me, but now the expectation was for me to co-ordinate activities with other teams / team members which was like a new thing to me. But it was good in a way, now I know how managers work, it's mostly logical dude no technology required for being a good manager. More than that I realised that you need to be very communicative with the management or with whoever it is, to survive or to make things possible. Taking on responsibility of any task is not always simple, and once you take the responsibility lead it till the end successfully. When I was told that I was given a responsibility, I was just looking at the task in hand, but I never looked at the big picture. I should look at a bigger picture of the task / responsibility in hand and should work to complete the task. One more common feedback that I received multiple times during the past two months is: "I assume things to work successfully on the first go". I guess thatz the problem of being an optimit and at the same time the problem with my laid back attitude. I should and must change that attitude, I should actually not believe that things work untill and unless I look at the results. There could be "n" number of reasons for things not to work as expected, so prepare to face the worse.

Were the past two months really frustrating and stressful? Yes, I would say. But may be as I always think, "what ever happens, happens for good". So those two months were a better learning for me, which will prevent me from committing any non sense in future and will help in having a better carreer.

I cannot write anything better than this from the last two months because, there I was nothing good / great I did expect from work. If any of my friends read this, they might think it is not just the last two months, from the times they know me, they cannot expect me to write anything other than work. :d

Chalo guys, enough of work work work...I will try to post something different if possible. By the way, friends, my project Go Live is round the corner so I do not expect things to be any better for the next two months..think I am ending on a pessimistic note. I would surely update the happenings of next two months in my future posts. Definitely hopeful that things would work properly, and if anything goes wrong, I am there to fix it.